THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT TELL YOUR KIDS
Words are powerful and can make or destroy your kids. Great words create a growth mindset while negative words can generate a fixed mindset in kids. This is the continuation of things you should not tell your kids.
. “Just leave me alone”
You are exhausted and need to rest, but your kid keeps pestering you with a need. Telling them to leave you alone consistently, is communicating to them that you are not always available. They will think that talking to you is a waste of time since you will brush them off. If this message becomes consistent, they will likely keep some things away from you as they grow older. Your intentions may be good but the mode of communication could be improved. You could say, “I will like to have some rest.” They build the impression that mum or dad deserves some rest like them.
“How many heads have successful people?”
Parents use this statement when their kids are not as successful as they (the parents) desire. You kid had come back with the termly result. Their performance was not what you expected. It was far below expectation. Out of annoyance, you ask, “how many heads have successful people?” Every parent believes that the child can be the best but emphasizing grade and academic performance can reduce the self-esteem of the child. You can acknowledge the areas that the child has done well and find creative ways on tackling the areas that they have struggled with. It does not need an announcement that the kid is not doing well.
. “You are irritating”
Parenting experience is tasking. The kids could get you flared up. One vital parenting skill you must possess is calmness amid challenges. Maintaining calmness will help resolve the issue faster and more creatively. Kids learn faster by observing you. They will see you as a good model in comportment. Rather than making statements that you will later regret, why not discover ways of resolving the issue? You can seek help from a qualified counsellor.
. “Study hard to be a <>”
Parents often tell their kids, “Study hard to be a doctor”; “Study hard to be an engineer”; and so on. This statement may appear motivating and harmless but could limit opportunities for the kid. There are endless opportunities and emerging careers in the 21st century. I have engaged parents in discovering careers fitted for their kids as a Career Analyst and Life skills coach. The best approach is not choosing a particular career option for the kid, but rather teaching them how to discover their unique personalities. Secondly, teach them collaboration over competition. It is a life skill that kids should learn.
I will connect with you in the next edition.
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